9 Biggest Office Meltdowns January 14 2014, 0 Comments

By Kevin Scott

Hey, we’ve all had a bad day or two at the office. Maybe you forgot to save an important document before closing everything down. Maybe an important client decided that you were the only thing standing between them and happiness. Maybe a coworker decided to help himself to your leftover Olive Garden that was clearly marked and waiting for you in the break room refrigerator. Whatever the case, chances are you reacted to the situation better than anyone on the following clips. If not, then you at least had better hope that no one captured your impotent rage on video, otherwise you might just find yourself on a list of the nine biggest office meltdowns captured on film.

1. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

Now, I’m not sure what it is that finally transforms the poor wage slave in this video from a mild-mannered data-drone into the living embodiment of destructive fury, and I’m not even sure that I want to know (it looks like it might have something to do with a few papers being knocked off of a desk, but somehow that just doesn’t seem like enough). I just hope that no one around me ever stumbles onto the same secret formula, because I don’t fancy getting a monitor smashed into my face like the poor woman at about the 25 second mark. What really interests me is the way that the psychopath has his run of the office for about 3 minutes while everyone else just sort of mills about. Fight or flight, people! Did evolution teach you nothing?

2. Beware the Fury of a Patient Man...

What gets me with this video is how calm the guy looks when the copier/printer decides to flock his work shirt and tie with a fine inky dust. He takes a step back, sighs, and then goes back to his desk. For a moment, it looks like that will be the end of it. But no, like the mobster who attacks an informant’s family, the employee decides to take out his frustration on his own innocent computer. Why it is that his revenge takes the form of him trying to copy the monitor, followed by smacking the copier control panel a few times, is a mystery that we may never solve.

3. Ctr+Alt+Smash

Come on. Which of us hasn’t wanted to introduce some server maintenance to an unresponsive computer via a solid smack with the keyboard? Still, the two best parts of the video are 1. The employee in the adjacent cubicle who twice stands up to see what is going on, and twice sits right back down as though everything seems to be in order, and 2. The quick, almost sheepish glance that the attacker gives the security camera as he gets up to go finish the job. Nope. No way out of this now; might as well see it through to the end.

4. The show must go on

There’s someone in your office who just doesn’t know when to quit. You know who I’m talking about. This is the guy who intentionally irritates everyone around him, but gets mad when anyone tells him to stop (can’t you take a joke?!). Well in this case, the poor guy who was just trying to finish a call decided that the best corrective measure for the A-hole sitting across the table who had been throwing things at him for the past few minutes, would be to climb over said table like an enraged bear and lay down a whooping so hard that the guy’s children are going to be born with computer keyboard imprints on their faces. And what do the other employees do while this totally justified act of curb-stomping enfolds before their eyes? They continue their calls. Now that’s dedication. Bravo.

5. Inside voices

Hmm. I can’t help but notice that the attacker in this video chose the least effective method for disconnecting the phone conversation. Come on, buddy. All you had to do is press down on the receiver, and that would have been that. Of course, I have to add that the fact that the man ends up chasing the talker off screen makes this video a little less humourous. Here’s hoping she made it home that day.

6. You dropped this

Yawn. Just another frozen computer getting a reboot courtesy of a nearby wall. The real gem in this video is the helpful neighbor who decides to return the computer after the tantrum has subsided. He’s got your back, bro.

7. There can be only one...

When you decided not to do your job, you didn’t know that you were messing with a modern samurai warrior, did you copier? My favorite part here is not how the guy misses on his first stab, despite the complete lack of movement displayed by his foe. No, my favorite part is how he leaves the sword impaled into the guts of the disobedient machine, to forever serve as a reminder and a warning to any other office tools who might dare to oppose the office shogun.

8. Did you try shouting at it?

If I understand this video correctly, the proper procedure when dealing with faulty hardware is to 1. Draw on the screen. 2. Smash the computer on the ground. 3. Rip out the computer’s innards and do your best to snap them in half (but only succeed in bending them). 4. Storm out of the room while giving the camera the “double bird.” 5. Shout “Die! Die! Die!” throughout the entire episode.

9. Just because you lose it, doesn’t mean you can’t have class

Ok. Wow. This guy is my new hero. Like so many on this list, he has a bad day and decides to do something about it. But unlike everyone else on this list, he does it with style. He gathers his things, says his goodbyes with a smile, and even apologizes to his boss for having to go. And, as a cherry on top of this awesomeness cake, he even tells a lovely young female co-worker to call him as he makes his exit. And you know what? I can guarantee you that she did. How could she not after witnessing the coolest “meltdown” in office history? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to pick up some smart new “Jordans.”